My child: (lying on our couch, covered scalp to toe tip in a hideous, itchy, bright red but harmless amoxicillin rash that modern medicine advises she "wait out", since benadryl did nothing.) 2018 latest wedding wears dressed in beach
"Look at my face. Look at my hands. Like the freaking plague. It's horrible! It's soooo itchy!!! Do you know what this is?!?
It's...The A-POX-ALYPSE!!!! ... hahahahahaha."

I have never been more proud of my genetics. Seriously.