I am now married to a white, blonde Muslim woman whose family is the cast of Monty Python, who came to the wedding dressed as Victorian era royalty while we tromped through a high school in Wyoming in search of a restaurant to celebrate our nuptials. Apparently, John Cleese, the Queen of England, disapproves of my marrying his daughter. Eric Idle, my brother in law, however, fucking loves me. graduation dresses 2019

And this, folks, is the reason smart writers (read: not me) self-medicate.